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Are They Lonesome Tonight?
(To “Are You Lonesome Tonight”)
Are they lonesome tonight
Groups that are such a fright
They’re so ugly we had to depart?
Does their memory stray
Their clubs we would always stay
When we posted and posted with joy…
Now they forced those groups on us
Now empty and bare
Members screams and curses plus
We’re leaving from there…
Are your eyes racked with pain?
Yahoo’s gone down the drain
Hey…Yahoo…are you lonesome tonight?
Wonder if Yahoo’s lonesome tonight
It’s a god awful fright
Their site was much better when they had the clubs
Instead of forcing all of us out drinking in pubs
Your clubs best of the net
Sure tempers were out let
When your infamous glitches clearly like a bell
Now go to hell
You changed for the worst and stranger still
It was against our will
Yahoo improvements were a great big lie
We don’t care if you live or die
But we’d rather leave than hear you lying
Go on living without spying
Through those cams spammed on every other page
You made us all filled with rage
If you don’t see us come back there
Go to hell and find us elsewhere…
Are you blind from their site?
Come back again…yeah right…
Hey Yahoo…are you lonesome tonight???
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt
A Sickening Site
(To “The Old Sow Song”)
(Lyric symbols:
@ = snort 
# = whistle 
$ = Bronx cheer or raspberry)
There was a site and they called it Yahoo
@ oo # oo $ it smells like poo
There was a site and they called it Yahoo
Let us all leave Yahoo…
Yahoo is a sickening site
@ site # site $ site
Yahoo is a sickening fright…
They gobbled up the clubs and they threw up the groups
@ bloops # scoops $ didn’t say oops
The Groups came out they should have ahnded us scoops…
Stomachs churning in loops…
That format of theirs is just making me sick
@ ick # ick $ get me out quick
That format of theirs is just making me sick
Get me a doctor quick…
Their groups look like shit after dynamite blew
@ ew # ew $ smells like Yahoo
Their groups look like shit after dynamite blew
Don’t let it get on you…
Yahoo made me blind I can’t see anymore
@ ore # ore $ is this the door???
Yahoo made me blind I can’t see anymore
Yahoo we’re now at war…
The groups have been opened the members run dry
@ why # why $ I wonder why???
The groups have been opened the members run dry
To other sites we fly…
We all witnessed the death of this old Yahoo
@ who? # who? $ if they just knew
Their groups as a whole smelled like a backed up loo
Don’t light a match…HEY YOU!!!
Now let us all leave this stink hole called Yahoo
@ ew # ew $ o piddle poo
Let us all leave this shit hole that mauled Yahoo
Let’s bid them all adieu…
Repeat CHORUS twice
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt
Hate Yahoo Groups
(To “I Love LA”)
Hate Yahoo groups
See membership droops
And in Yahoo they really don’t care
Let’s leave Yahoo now
Really show them how
Good groups are supposed to be run
Yahoo only removes fun…
Posting in the At Home On the Range Club
With the sexiest redhead by my side...
Same thing happens after eating Yahoo’s grub
You start to run and hide…
It broke Windows
The eyesore grows
They’re now the breach boys
The worst joke on the net
Not gonna forget
Yahoo has removed all our joy…
From Bitches Inc where we roasted
All the trolls who in there posted
In clubs we were very happy
And every day Yahoo’s gone crappy
Ruined another perfect day…
Hate Yahoo groups
(Go spam 'em)
Hate Yahoo groups
(Go spam 'em)
Look at that spammer
See him stammer…
Give them the thumb
Show them your bum…
They’re down on their knees
Asking pretty please
We’ll just smash them with a hammer…
Message boards of Yahoo
In the groups of Yahoo
Even in the mail of Yahoo
Let’s leave
(We hate 'em)
(We hate 'em)
Hate Yahoo groups
Hate Yahoo groups
(Let's leave 'em)
repeat and fade
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt 
Take Me Out Of Old Yahoo
(To "Take Me Out To The Ballgame")
Take me out of old Yahoo
And out to other sites new
I don’t care if Yahoo gets hacked
There’s no way that I’ll ever go back
They screw screw screwed every member
They don’t care or remember
They think as one two three million leave:
It's not a bad thing…
Take me out of old Yahoo
Before I take you out too
There’s a sniper up on the roof
We hope their windows aren’t shatterproof
Music blared: Celine Dion
Until those damned groups are gone
We’ll blare one two three annoying
Songs that she did sing…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt 
Marriage From Hell
(To Richard Wagner’s “Treulich grführt”)
Hey you Yahoo
Nothing’s more true
No one’s around
When the spam is so sound
All over site
It isn’t right
Even the mail
Is getting spammed tooth and nail
To get around this
You shouldn’t miss
Sending that huge lump
To the city dump
Or the IRS
Or the post office:
Physical addresses
Seem to suffice
Hey why so dim?
The members are slim
Yahoo’s appearing
Rumors we’re hearing
It’s a ghost town
Everyone frowns
When they’re in Yahoo
Sad but it is true
Not even God can save them:
They created mayhem
Those groups should be condemned…
Yahoo will only be known
For that big chance they’d blown
Those groups sure suck
And there’s no luck
Getting your hands clean
They’re really obscene
Right to the eyes
Members arise
Move to sites anew
Bid Yahoo adieu
Yahoo’s disgrace
Shows their true face
They never cared
And they’re not scared
When we call their spam
Nothing but a sham
That’s forcing us out
We all scream and shout
Off to new sites
And to our delights
Blindness is gone
As we sing this song:
Yahoo you stink
The weakest link
And without a sigh
We must say goodbye…
Can’t take much more
They’re a spam whore
To the weakest link
Goodbye without wink…
From those that think…
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt
Run Far Away
(To Oingo Boingo’s “Dead Man’s Party”)
They’re all grouped up and going to hell
Logging into Yahoo…what a disaster…
In groups there’s a horrible smell
Looks like they’re run by a drunken master…
We’re waiting for invitations to arrive
We sent out last July…are the members trying to hide???
Really that damn spam is giving us all hives
Forcing us to groups outside with a posting pride…
Yes my head is spinning
Much like Linda Blair
Nobody is winning
As those groups suck air…
This is Yahoo’s party
Spam is served some more
What is even worse they give us shoddy groups glaore
Let’s head for the door
Run far away from Yahoo groups…
All grouped up…they’re going to hell
Members leaving Yahoo…
(How true…)
Now that line goes back as far as I can tell
Members leaving Yahoo…Yahoo
Got sick of Yahoo’s lies
Now we’re giving Yahoo our fond goodbyes…
Even the chauffeur says they really stink
Says there’s no room for the weakest link…
Run far away from Yahoo groups
Just be afraid of those Yahoo droops
Run far away from Yahoo groups
Run far away… 
(repeat many times)
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt