Parodies 37-42

Are They Lonesome Tonight?

(To “Are You Lonesome Tonight”)

Are they lonesome tonight

Groups that are such a fright

They’re so ugly we had to depart?

Does their memory stray

Their clubs we would always stay

When we posted and posted with joy…

Now they forced those groups on us

Now empty and bare

Members screams and curses plus

We’re leaving from there…

Are your eyes racked with pain?

Yahoo’s gone down the drain

Hey…Yahoo…are you lonesome tonight?

Wonder if Yahoo’s lonesome tonight

It’s a god awful fright

Their site was much better when they had the clubs

Instead of forcing all of us out drinking in pubs

Your clubs best of the net

Sure tempers were out let

When your infamous glitches clearly like a bell

Now go to hell

You changed for the worst and stranger still

It was against our will

Yahoo improvements were a great big lie

We don’t care if you live or die

But we’d rather leave than hear you lying

Go on living without spying

Through those cams spammed on every other page

You made us all filled with rage

If you don’t see us come back there

Go to hell and find us elsewhere…

Are you blind from their site?

Come back again…yeah right…

Hey Yahoo…are you lonesome tonight???

A Sickening Site

(To “The Old Sow Song”)

(Lyric symbols:

@ = snort

# = whistle

$ = Bronx cheer or raspberry)

There was a site and they called it Yahoo

@ oo # oo $ it smells like poo

There was a site and they called it Yahoo

Let us all leave Yahoo…

CHORUS

Yahoo is a sickening site

@ site # site $ site

Yahoo is a sickening fright…

They gobbled up the clubs and they threw up the groups

@ bloops # scoops $ didn’t say oops

The Groups came out they should have ahnded us scoops…

Stomachs churning in loops…

CHORUS

That format of theirs is just making me sick

@ ick # ick $ get me out quick

That format of theirs is just making me sick

Get me a doctor quick…

CHORUS

Their groups look like shit after dynamite blew

@ ew # ew $ smells like Yahoo

Their groups look like shit after dynamite blew

Don’t let it get on you…

CHORUS

Yahoo made me blind I can’t see anymore

@ ore # ore $ is this the door???

Yahoo made me blind I can’t see anymore

Yahoo we’re now at war…

CHORUS

The groups have been opened the members run dry

@ why # why $ I wonder why???

The groups have been opened the members run dry

To other sites we fly…

CHORUS

We all witnessed the death of this old Yahoo

@ who? # who? $ if they just knew

Their groups as a whole smelled like a backed up loo

Don’t light a match…HEY YOU!!!

CHORUS

Now let us all leave this stink hole called Yahoo

@ ew # ew $ o piddle poo

Let us all leave this shit hole that mauled Yahoo

Let’s bid them all adieu…

CHORUS

Repeat CHORUS twice

Hate Yahoo Groups

(To “I Love LA”)

Hate Yahoo groups

See membership droops

And in Yahoo they really don’t care

Let’s leave Yahoo now

Really show them how

Good groups are supposed to be run

Yahoo only removes fun…

Posting in the At Home On the Range Club

With the sexiest redhead by my side...

Same thing happens after eating Yahoo’s grub

You start to run and hide…

It broke Windows

The eyesore grows

They’re now the breach boys

Away

The worst joke on the net

Not gonna forget

Yahoo has removed all our joy…

From Bitches Inc where we roasted

All the trolls who in there posted

In clubs we were very happy

And every day Yahoo’s gone crappy

Ruined another perfect day…

Hate Yahoo groups

(Go spam 'em)

Hate Yahoo groups

(Go spam 'em)

Look at that spammer

See him stammer…

Give them the thumb

Show them your bum…

They’re down on their knees

Asking pretty please

We’ll just smash them with a hammer…

Message boards of Yahoo

(THEY SPAM US)

In the groups of Yahoo

(THEY SPAM US)

Even in the mail of Yahoo

(THEY SPAM US)

Let’s leave

(We hate 'em)

Hate Yahoo groups

(Let's leave 'em)

repeat and fade

Take Me Out Of Old Yahoo

(To "Take Me Out To The Ballgame")

Take me out of old Yahoo

And out to other sites new

I don’t care if Yahoo gets hacked

There’s no way that I’ll ever go back

They screw screw screwed every member

They don’t care or remember

They think as one two three million leave:

It's not a bad thing…

Take me out of old Yahoo

Before I take you out too

There’s a sniper up on the roof

We hope their windows aren’t shatterproof

Music blared: Celine Dion

Until those damned groups are gone

We’ll blare one two three annoying

Songs that she did sing…

Marriage From Hell

(To Richard Wagner’s “Treulich grführt”)

Hey you Yahoo

Nothing’s more true

No one’s around

When the spam is so sound

All over site

It isn’t right

Even the mail

Is getting spammed tooth and nail

To get around this

You shouldn’t miss

Sending that huge lump

To the city dump

Or the IRS

Or the post office:

Physical addresses

Seem to suffice

Hey why so dim?

The members are slim

Yahoo’s appearing

Rumors we’re hearing

It’s a ghost town

Everyone frowns

When they’re in Yahoo

Sad but it is true

Not even God can save them:

They created mayhem

Those groups should be condemned…

Yahoo will only be known

For that big chance they’d blown

Those groups sure suck

And there’s no luck

Getting your hands clean

They’re really obscene

Right to the eyes

Members arise

Move to sites anew

Bid Yahoo adieu

Yahoo’s disgrace

Shows their true face

They never cared

And they’re not scared

When we call their spam

Nothing but a sham

That’s forcing us out

We all scream and shout

Off to new sites

And to our delights

Blindness is gone

As we sing this song:

Yahoo you stink

The weakest link

And without a sigh

We must say goodbye…

Can’t take much more

They’re a spam whore

To the weakest link

Goodbye without wink…

From those that think…

Run Far Away

(To Oingo Boingo’s “Dead Man’s Party”)

They’re all grouped up and going to hell

Logging into Yahoo…what a disaster…

In groups there’s a horrible smell

Looks like they’re run by a drunken master…

We’re waiting for invitations to arrive

We sent out last July…are the members trying to hide???

Really that damn spam is giving us all hives

Forcing us to groups outside with a posting pride…

CHORUS

Yes my head is spinning

Much like Linda Blair

Nobody is winning

As those groups suck air…

This is Yahoo’s party

Spam is served some more

What is even worse they give us shoddy groups glaore

Let’s head for the door

Run far away from Yahoo groups…

All grouped up…they’re going to hell

Members leaving Yahoo…

(How true…)

Now that line goes back as far as I can tell

Members leaving Yahoo…Yahoo

(YAHOO!)

Got sick of Yahoo’s lies

Now we’re giving Yahoo our fond goodbyes…

Even the chauffeur says they really stink

Says there’s no room for the weakest link…

CHORUS

Run far away from Yahoo groups

Just be afraid of those Yahoo droops

Run far away from Yahoo groups

Run far away…

(repeat many times)