Parodies 31-36

What Should We Do With a Site Like Yahoo

(To "What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor?")

What should we do with a site like Yahoo

And a site that spams like Yahoo?

What should we do with a site like Yahoo

Without feathers or glue?

Chorus

Hey see the members leaving

And the rest are up there heaving

Yahoo is such a big eyesore

See us walking out the door …

Perhaps this idea might sound squirrelly

Put ‘em in a boat with Crazy Shirley

What should we do with a site like Yahoo

Without feathers or glue?

Make ‘em honestly give numbers

That won’t sink Yahoo like anchors

That’s the trick for a site like Yahoo

See how big their nose grew…

See them stand with a stupid stammer

And break their site with a strong hammer…

What should we do with a site like Yahoo

Without feathers or glue?

Give them all a few great big clues

That in time and money they’ll lose

We know Yahoo’s never trusted

Too bad their site is rusted…

Get even with those format drippers

Soak ‘em in oil till they sprout flippers

What else can we do with this site Yahoo

Without feathers or glue?

Force ‘em to listen to polka music

Until of it they are tired and sick…

What to do with a site like Yahoo

Without feathers or glue…

Force them under the members heaving

As they are at their format leaving

Presents great for a site like Yahoo

Who had lied to me and you…

King Of All Spam

(To Roger Miller’s “King Of the Road”)

Spy cams for sale…how dense

Groups aren’t worth fifty cents

No balls…no spine…just gall

They’re the worst site overall…

But two seconds of viewing groups

Our stomachs start churnin’ in loops…

Don’t think they really give a damn:

King of all spam…

Third headache…big migraine…

Yahoo…don’t you have a brain???

Got so bad we can’t lurk

Their massage pen doesn’t work…

Your clubs were perfect nearly found

By members from all around…

Don’t think they really give a damn:

King of all spam…

We know Yahoo blows big time

With each rhyme

And with any luck

Yahoo will still suck…

And they’ve been knocked down

In every town

Piercing noise in our ears sound

With those groups around…

I sense…

Spy cams for sale…how dense

Groups aren’t worth fifty cents

No balls…no spine…just gall

They’re the worst site overall…

But two seconds of viewing groups

Our stomachs start churnin’ in loops…

Don’t think they really give a damn:

King of all spam…

See Us Disappear

(To “Secret Agent Man”)

I know a site whose future is in danger

Removing clubs for a format that’s stranger

Yet all the moves they make

Another big mistake

Yahoo’s the cause of our pain and sorrow…

CHORUS

A mass exodus

See us scream and cuss

We know we’re not wanted here

Now see us disappear…

Beware of groups sites that you find

With spam run amok by an evil mind

*UGH*…the spam’s on every page

Giving us a constant rage

I hope Yahoo won’t last to see tomorrow…

CHORUS

Repeat CHORUS

Posted in a poetry club today

Mostly sayin’ without delay

I cannot stay…

Yahoo is playing with my head

And yes…this is what I said:

“I hope Yahoo won’t last to see tomorrow…”

CHORUS

See us disappear…

Drink! Drink! Drink!

(To “Drink! Drink! Drink” from “The Student Prince”)

Ein…zwei…drei…vier…

Throw Yahoo over the pier…

(looking towards the sea)

Ein…zwei…drei…vier

Yahoo looks better from here…

CHORUS I

Drink! Drink! Drink!

Yahoo looks better as three

More beers going through me!

Drink! Drink! Drink!

Open up another case here of

Liquid Yahoo love…

Here’s hoping our eyes won’t be too sore…

Seemingly…probably we should drink more

To make Yahoo look appealing…

Tomorrow our heads are reeling…

CHORUS II

Drink! Drink!

Another beer

Do they know we’re not here???

Drink! Drink! Drink!

Every day more members start to disappear…

Drink! Drink! Drink

Two more kegs to make Yahoo

More appealing to you…

Drink! Drink! Drink!

You cannot drink just one

It takes out the fun

I hope ten more will make it look good…

But right now…I don’t think anything could…

Right now am I able to see

When Yahoo is that butt ugly???

CHORUS II

They stink!!!!

CHORUS I

Here’s hoping our eyes won’t be to sore

Seemingly…probably…we should drink more…

Right now an I able to see

When Yahoo’s making me dizzy???

CHORUS II

THEY STINK!!!!!

A Yahoo Ditty

(To Leonard Bernstein’s “I Feel Pretty”)

DISGRUNTLED YAHOO GROUPS FOUNDER:

Yahoo’s shitty

It looks gritty

Every city

Does them pity

Each night

And I pity

Anyone who lost their eyesight…

Members arming

It looks charming

It’s alarming

The harming

We’ll do

To old Yahoo

We can hardly go in there to view…

See that ugly site

It groups each night

Such a big disgrace…

If it had a face

Needs a paper bag

It’s the sickest gag…

Think they’re cunning???

We are running

Members shunning

And punning

With joy…

We do ploy

Leaving for Smart Groups to enjoy…

CHORUS OF DISGRUNTLED MEMBERS:

Have you met our good friend Otto

Who crashes all the time we show???

Can’t show for one minute without spam

Showing up every seven seconds…it’s a scam…

They think they’re sexy

They think they’re pretty

They are neither

They need a breather

In an asylum

Cause Yahoo’s so dumb

From such brain disease

Or could it be fleas???

Stay away from them…

Failure does stir…

This doesn’t show???

Yahoo’s noses grow…

There is no cure

They’re out of their mind

It smells like manure

And it makes you go blind…

FOUNDER

It’s so ugly

Never will be

Very pretty

A pity

To see

Definitely

Should be

Deleted by you and me…

MEMBERS

Blah…blah…blah…blah…

FOUNDER

I feel dizzy

Like the movie

The Exorcist…

Yahoo’s made me pissed

And so angry…

Give Yahoo a sign:

“We all resign!!!!!!”

MEMBERS

Blah…blah…blah…blah…

FOUNDER

Get a doctor

My head’s starting to stir

MEMBERS

I see it whirl…

FOUNDER

Yahoo’s making me want to hurl…

MEMBERS

Please don’t hurl

Earl…

FOUNDER

Such an ugly site

Much too ugly site

Way too ugly site

Away ugly site…

MEMBERS

Away ugly site

ALL

We are heaving

As we’re leaving

And we’re running

And punning

Elsewhere…

Soon be there

To a new site:

A brand new light

Yahoo IS The Weakest Link

(To Steam’s “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye”)

Yeah they are the weakest link here hey Yahoo goodbye…

Shoved under a bus

They did scream and cuss

Cause they gave us those groups

Made our heads spin in loops

They might be there but they’re not really there

(Yahoo…you suck)

Ugly everywhere

Can’t escape

(We want out of Yahoo so bad we can taste it…)

Go and drape

Kiss ‘em good riddance…

Heard you were the weakest link…goodbye…

Yeah they are the weakest link here hey Yahoo goodbye…

Leave from Yahoo now…

They never appreciated our efforts

Yeah…it really hurts

When clubs fall wayside to groups

Where spam is always rampant in their loops

(Spam us…Yahoo)

Yahoo get a clue…

We’ll leave you

(If you don’t give our clubs back

Show the class you seem to lack)

Kiss Yahoo GOOD RIDDANCE

As we do prance

A grand dance…

Yahoo is the weakest link…goodbye

[fade in]

Weakest link…goodbye…

Yeah they are the weakest link here hey Yahoo goodbye…

[repeat many times and fade out]