Hit Counter
Take Your Groups And Shove It
(To David Allen Coe’s “Take This Job And Shove It”)
Take your groups and shove it
Where the sun don’t shine no more…
Between spammers and glitches, don’t we just love it?
They’ve become a bore!
You’d better not say
As I’m on my way
To walking out that door…
Take this site and shove it
I ain’t surfin’ here no more…
I’ve been in this damn glitch factory
For too long as you can see…
Spammers come out from far and wide…
Yahoo’s hands seem to be tied
With many penile enlargement sites
They must have the biggest fights…
Because they never had the balls to weigh
And hear me reply this way:
Customer service is full of SOBs
Never listen to our pleas…
Should they get fixed along with these glitches?
(Don’t laugh yourself in stitches!)
One of these days the glitches are to stop
And Hell’s getting a hockey team…
Their faces show that they’re a flop
After we have the guts to scream:
Take your groups and shove it
Where the sun don’t shine no more
That chain letter format of yours…
It smells like shit
It’s a big eyesore
Please return our frames
Cause we ain’t playin’ games
Take your groups and shove it
We ain’t clubbin’ here no more!!!
© 2001 Ludwig van Catt
Ode To Yahoo (2nd version)
(Sung to "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks)
Blame it all on the groups
That are picked up with scoops
We can never really escape. 
The first ones to know,
That they really blow,
Were us founders who want to escape.
I believe we should leave
Before we dry heave
Because that eyesore is too much
As my toast to you,
And all of Yahoo, too,
For their necks ‘tween our hands to touch...  
Cause their groups smell like manure
Where they come and go
It drives us crazy ever so.
It's not OK!
Those groups smell like a backed up sewer
The site’s not fit for pigs
Or those Yahoo big wigs  
That replace clubs with shit du jour…
Well I guess I was wrong,
Our clubs may be gone,
But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.
But everything's all right
I may say good night
And hope for our sanity to endure.
But I didn't mean
To cause a big scene
Just to return some sanity lost
Before Yahoo's harm
Via the funny farm
Another founder's sanity cost...
Well I guess I was wrong,
Our clubs may be gone,
But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.
But It would be all right
If we would just fight
This format which smells like manure.
But I didn't mean
To cause a big scene,
Just wait till I finish this glass.
We should tell Yahoo
That they should get through
And stick those groups up their ass!
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt
Those Rotten Yahell Groups
(to the most annoying song I know…Achy Breaky Heart)
You can tell me now that Yahoo really sucks
When their groups just ain’t worth two bucks…
Or you can sell their stock
By barrel or by lock
Then point and laugh about those Yahoo schmucks…
You can tell them now that they can go to hell
As you unload their stock now to sell
They never listened here
To ideas so clear
For true improvements for clubs we should yell:
Just sell your stock…
That worthless Yahoo stock
I know they just don’t understand…
Please will you sell your stock
By barrel or by lock
And invest instead in Harley’s brand…
It couldn’t be worse if they played Billy Ray
And that annoying song of his all day
But let us raise this glass
“May Yahoo kiss our ass”
I never liked them anyway…
Invest in Microsoft…even in Harley…
Me, myself and I will give the plea
That we should really flee
That big eyesore with glee
The worst things in life now are really free…
Just don’t change the clubs
Yes…even with their flubs
The best format I ever knew
If you listened in loops
Those rotting Yahell groups
Might blow up and kill Yahoo…
Yes I hate Yahoo
As they’re turning the screw
To member and founder alike…
And if you wondered why
This Yahell makes me cry
Outside their building I will strike…
That “Yahoo sucks”
And “It ain’t worth your bucks”
I t should blow right up in their face…
Don’t tell me now
This rant I did allow
Caused you to leave in such disgrace…
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt
Welcome To My Yahoo
To Alice Cooper’s “Welcome To My Nightmare”
Welcome to My Yahoo
Their groups are gonna scare you:
An advertising hell
Described so well…
Yahoo gives the sensations:
Unnecessary sedations
To make us feel at home
In rooms of foam…
Welcome to My Yahoo
Yahoo always breaks down
It’s lookin’ like a ghost town
It’s just the way things are
With sites sub-par…
We used to laugh and vent here
Yahoo’s a huge old pain here
As right inside I feel
Like I’m ill…
Welcome to this eyesore
Welcome to this eyesore
Don’t think I’m gonna take more
Head continues to spin
Logging in…
Try to cover your eyes dear
The headaches are coming near
Mad at Yahoo for this
No…I’m PISSED!!!
Yahoo really sucks here!!!
Welcome to their breakdowns…
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt
In Old Yahoo
(To “In the Ghetto")
As the snow falls
We know that Yahoo really has no balls
And that fact we yell throughout the halls
Of old Yahoo
But there’s just one thing that we don’t need
Is groups that make our heads inside bleed
In old Yahoo
Yahoo doesn’t understand
These groups are ruining the band
Of friends passing through this site that was once so grand
But between you and me
It is too hard to see
The groups through all this mess
I really must confess
As our stomachs churn
Yet Yahoo knows that inside our anger does burn
I feel they want us out of Yahoo
And we should sue…
If they continue
Practices calling themselves Yahoo
It is them we should sue
For malpractice so true
And stuck like glue…
Then one night on the interstate
We have found out our fate
Yahoo’s now a big eyesore
We can’t get in there anymore
Wonder what’s in store…
As we crowd into those little tight rooms
That they’re passing off as the chat of doom
In old Yahoo
As our clubs do die
Horrible deaths with the Yahoo Y
Another group’s born to suffer the fate
That we all hate…
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt
A Lyrical Vent
(To ZZ Top’s “Gimme All Your Lovin’”)
We need to take a shot
At a format that isn’t sweet
Straitjackets have been bought
For the screwball who thought that was so neat…
Yahoo’s really shovin’
All their chances up their ass
And they’re really lovin’
That their hearts are made of glass…
You’ve got to flip them off
And tell them now where they should go
And to laugh and scoff
And really let your anger show…
We got to move on out
We’re not takin’ it anymore
We will all scream and shout
Their groups are a big eyesore…
© 2002 Ludwig van Catt