Parodies 13-18

Take Your Groups And Shove It

(To David Allen Coe’s “Take This Job And Shove It”)

CHORUS:

Take your groups and shove it

Where the sun don’t shine no more…

Between spammers and glitches, don’t we just love it?

They’ve become a bore!

You’d better not say

As I’m on my way

To walking out that door…

Take this site and shove it

I ain’t surfin’ here no more…

I’ve been in this damn glitch factory

For too long as you can see…

Spammers come out from far and wide…

Yahoo’s hands seem to be tied

With many penile enlargement sites

They must have the biggest fights…

Because they never had the balls to weigh

And hear me reply this way:

CHORUS

Customer service is full of SOBs

Never listen to our pleas…

Should they get fixed along with these glitches?

(Don’t laugh yourself in stitches!)

One of these days the glitches are to stop

And Hell’s getting a hockey team…

Their faces show that they’re a flop

After we have the guts to scream:

CHORUS 2

Take your groups and shove it

Where the sun don’t shine no more

That chain letter format of yours…

It smells like shit

It’s a big eyesore

Please return our frames

Cause we ain’t playin’ games

Take your groups and shove it

We ain’t clubbin’ here no more!!!

Ode To Yahoo (2^nd version)

(Sung to "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks)

Blame it all on the groups
That are picked up with scoops
We can never really escape.
The first ones to know,
That they really blow,
Were us founders who want to escape.
I believe we should leave
Before we dry heave
Because that eyesore is too much
As my toast to you,
And all of Yahoo, too,
For their necks ‘tween our hands to touch...

CHORUS

Cause their groups smell like manure

Where they come and go

It drives us crazy ever so.

It's not OK!

Those groups smell like a backed up sewer

The site’s not fit for pigs

Or those Yahoo big wigs

That replace clubs with shit du jour…

Well I guess I was wrong,

Our clubs may be gone,

But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.

But everything's all right

I may say good night

And hope for our sanity to endure.

But I didn't mean

To cause a big scene

Just to return some sanity lost

Before Yahoo's harm

Via the funny farm

Another founder's sanity cost...

CHORUS

Well I guess I was wrong,

Our clubs may be gone,

But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.

But It would be all right

If we would just fight

This format which smells like manure.

But I didn't mean

To cause a big scene,

Just wait till I finish this glass.

We should tell Yahoo

That they should get through

And stick those groups up their ass!

CHORUS

Those Rotten Yahell Groups

(to the most annoying song I know…Achy Breaky Heart)

You can tell me now that Yahoo really sucks

When their groups just ain’t worth two bucks…

Or you can sell their stock

By barrel or by lock

Then point and laugh about those Yahoo schmucks…

You can tell them now that they can go to hell

As you unload their stock now to sell

They never listened here

To ideas so clear

For true improvements for clubs we should yell:

Just sell your stock…

That worthless Yahoo stock

I know they just don’t understand…

Please will you sell your stock

By barrel or by lock

And invest instead in Harley’s brand…

Ooo

It couldn’t be worse if they played Billy Ray

And that annoying song of his all day

But let us raise this glass

“May Yahoo kiss our ass”

I never liked them anyway…

Invest in Microsoft…even in Harley…

Me, myself and I will give the plea

That we should really flee

That big eyesore with glee

The worst things in life now are really free…

Just don’t change the clubs

Yes…even with their flubs

The best format I ever knew

If you listened in loops

Those rotting Yahell groups

Might blow up and kill Yahoo…

Ooo

Yes I hate Yahoo

As they’re turning the screw

To member and founder alike…

And if you wondered why

This Yahell makes me cry

Outside their building I will strike…

That “Yahoo sucks”

And “It ain’t worth your bucks”

I t should blow right up in their face…

Ooo

Don’t tell me now

This rant I did allow

Caused you to leave in such disgrace…

Ooo…

Welcome To My Yahoo

To Alice Cooper’s “Welcome To My Nightmare”

Welcome to My Yahoo

Their groups are gonna scare you:

An advertising hell

Described so well…

Yahoo gives the sensations:

Unnecessary sedations

To make us feel at home

In rooms of foam…

Welcome to My Yahoo

No-o-o-o-o

Yahoo always breaks down

It’s lookin’ like a ghost town

It’s just the way things are

With sites sub-par…

We used to laugh and vent here

Yahoo’s a huge old pain here

As right inside I feel

Like I’m ill…

Welcome to this eyesore

NO-O-O-O-O

Welcome to this eyesore

Don’t think I’m gonna take more

Head continues to spin

Logging in…

Try to cover your eyes dear

The headaches are coming near

Mad at Yahoo for this

No…I’m PISSED!!!

Yahoo really sucks here!!!

Yeah!

Welcome to their breakdowns…

In Old Yahoo

(To “In the Ghetto")

As the snow falls

We know that Yahoo really has no balls

And that fact we yell throughout the halls

Of old Yahoo

That THEY REALLY SUCK!!!

But there’s just one thing that we don’t need

Is groups that make our heads inside bleed

In old Yahoo

Yahoo doesn’t understand

These groups are ruining the band

Of friends passing through this site that was once so grand

But between you and me

It is too hard to see

The groups through all this mess

I really must confess

As our stomachs churn

Yet Yahoo knows that inside our anger does burn

I feel they want us out of Yahoo

And we should sue…

If they continue

Practices calling themselves Yahoo

It is them we should sue

For malpractice so true

And stuck like glue…

Then one night on the interstate

We have found out our fate

Yahoo’s now a big eyesore

We can’t get in there anymore

Wonder what’s in store…

As we crowd into those little tight rooms

That they’re passing off as the chat of doom

In old Yahoo

As our clubs do die

Horrible deaths with the Yahoo Y

Another group’s born to suffer the fate

That we all hate…

A Lyrical Vent

(To ZZ Top’s “Gimme All Your Lovin’”)

We need to take a shot

At a format that isn’t sweet

Straitjackets have been bought

For the screwball who thought that was so neat…

CHORUS

Yahoo’s really shovin’

All their chances up their ass

And they’re really lovin’

That their hearts are made of glass…

You’ve got to flip them off

And tell them now where they should go

And to laugh and scoff

And really let your anger show…

CHORUS

We got to move on out

We’re not takin’ it anymore

We will all scream and shout

Their groups are a big eyesore…

CHORUS