Parodies 1-6

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Ode To Yahoo

(Sung to "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks)

Blame it all on the glitch
A development which
We can never really escape.
The last ones to know,
The first ones to show,
Causing founders with mouths all agape.
And I still can't believe
That we would all leave
Because we like Yahoo too much.
As my toast to you,
And all of Yahoo, too,
For a neck or two we can touch...

CHORUS

Cause we've got friends with high glitches

Where they come and go

And drives us crazy ever so.

But it's OK!

But, I'm not known for subtle bitches:

Only some simple digs

At our Yahoo big wigs

That run our clubs with high glitches.

Well I guess I was wrong,

The glitch may be gone,

But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.

But everything's all right

I may say good night

And hope for our sanity to endure.

But I didn't mean

To cause a big scene

Just to return some sanity lost

Before Yahoo's harm

Via the funny farm

Another founder's sanity cost...

CHORUS

Well I guess I was wrong,

The glitch may be gone,

But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.

But everything's all right

I may say good night

And hope for our sanity to endure.

But I didn't mean

To cause a big scene,

Just wait till I finish this glass.

We should tell Yahoo

That they should get through

And stick that glitch up their ass!

CHORUS

The YaGropes Thing

(Parody Of Chuck Berry's "My Ding-A-Ling")

Yahoo thought that they were coy

Treating us founders like a cute little toy

Pissed us off, and that's the thing

The thing we call the "YaGropes Ring".

CHORUS

If this YaGropes thing's

The thing we should sing,

They must be playing with their ding-a-lings.

(repeat chorus)

Those people there are stubborn mules

Here they broke one golden rule

Delete button must be moved:

Intelligence has never been proved:

CHORUS

Hit reply and then delete

That thing reeks worse than our defeat

That mouse moved at times so wrong

That is why I'm here writing this song.

CHORUS

I hit forward the other day

Unsubscribe author I just may

If I forward this email thing

That virus called the "YaGropes Ring".

CHORUS

Now this old song, it ain't so bad

But Yahell has gotten me oh so mad.

This new format sucks so much

Hoover's suing them for "patent touch"

CHORUS

Yeah...THEIR ding-a lings

THEIR ding-a lings

We caught them playing with their ding-a lings

They screwed us well

They can go to hell

And take that YaGropes format and yell:

The YaGropes Ring

Caused us to sing:

Take back that virus called the YaGropes Ring.

www.yahell

To Alan Jackson's www.memory

I know you're pissed. I see the signs
You're gonna walk out in this field of mines
Get around that glitch
And always bitch
Pulling your hair out
You're gonna shout
On some rainy day: "I HATE YAHOO!!!"
I feel like sayin "You know I do too".

CHORUS
We're in www.yahell
We'll be screamin' with a well-placed yell
If you feel the need to find that smell
It's at www.yahell

You won't even have to IM me
Or glance into my eyes
I know you are my beauty
With every day's sunrise...
While you're at work I do miss your
Presence truly
When I get that boot du jour
That takes me from you...

CHORUS

I love you, I'll shout
And I want out
Of this www.yahell

Sweet Torture

(Sung to "My Heart Will Go On")

Every night in my dreams

I feel sick, I hear it,

That is what they called a damn hit?

Getting trapped in high beams

I go between them

Rather than listen on a whim...

Near, far

Wherever we are

I believe that Yahoo deserved this

Once more

Speakers near their door...

My tortures reserved this

Yet my stomach churns on and on...

This song taught us one thing

The more irritating

The better torture it will bring...

Blare it loud for Yahoo

Until the glitch stops you

From playing our revenge so true...

Until

Windows fall from sill

Shattered from the volumes we play

Once more

They'll see what's in store

When they hear an encore:

This song tearing eardrums away

There are some songs that just won't go away...

I'm here

You're running with fear

As you know that I'm playing that song

You'll stay:

Blaring Yahoo's way;

Wearing earmuffs today

As that song plays on and on...

Kiss This, Yahoo!!!

To Aaron Tippin's "Kiss This"

We are founders with a vision

Frustrated and with derision

With every single glitch set up by these clowns...

We were all here with big old frowns

When a miracle occurred here

Days glitch-free near

Came upon us to fear:

Oh, what was happening right now...

We're gonna have a cow...

That Yahoo Groups sucking even more

Our patience every day

We' will know what comes up in store...

So I think we must now say

"Never should have got out of bed..."

Here's what we said:

CHORUS

Yahoo, you kiss

Kiss this

And I don't mean on our rosy red lips

But don't you think they're dips

That suck worse than a Hoover vacuum cleaner

We know Yahoo's gotten a whole lot meaner...

Puckered up with one big sigh

And kissed this goodbye...

Well the next thing I recall

We had them backed against a wall

Thinkin' they had no other place to run

We were swearing right in their face

Telling them they're a big disgrace

Giving them a list of things to be done...

It was right about now

That Yahoo threw in the towel

Then came to watch us suffer in delight

With something much worse than our dreams at night...

The battles were fought and won

But the victory's sapping out all of the fun

Instead,

We said:

CHORUS (repeat twice)

Yo!!! Kiss this goodbye!!!

YAHOO!!!

Yahoo version of Shaving Cream

(Parody of Benny Bell’s “Shaving Cream”)

We have hit another Yahoo glitch
That's causing us founders a fit
Yet look at the first person to bitch
Who tells them that they're full of...

CHORUS
Shaving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.

If ever do they fix up this glitch

Fall right away, I will faint, I’ll admit

It's true, a quarter each time I'd be rich

That I’d tell them that they’re full of…

(CHORUS)

The Groups are the biggest eyesores

On the internet I’ll admit

And from here we can’t stand the odors

‘Cause it smells like a big pile of…

(CHORUS)

I hope that my story had ended

Hope it hurts their feelings a bit

And if Yahoo starts feeling offended

Stick their heads in a barrel of…

(CHORUS)

All songs copyrighted by this author here

May wish for a bunch of Yahoos to disappear

If you decided to tamper with my copyright

May you begin to lose your eyesight...