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Ode To Yahoo
(Sung to "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks)
Blame it all on the glitch
A development which
We can never really escape.
The last ones to know,
The first ones to show,
Causing founders with mouths all agape.
And I still can't believe
That we would all leave
Because we like Yahoo too much.
As my toast to you,
And all of Yahoo, too,
For a neck or two we can touch...
Cause we've got friends with high glitches
Where they come and go
And drives us crazy ever so.
But it's OK!
But, I'm not known for subtle bitches:
Only some simple digs
At our Yahoo big wigs
That run our clubs with high glitches.
Well I guess I was wrong,
The glitch may be gone,
But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.
But everything's all right
I may say good night
And hope for our sanity to endure.
But I didn't mean
To cause a big scene
Just to return some sanity lost
Before Yahoo's harm
Via the funny farm
Another founder's sanity cost...
Well I guess I was wrong,
The glitch may be gone,
But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.
But everything's all right
I may say good night
And hope for our sanity to endure.
But I didn't mean
To cause a big scene,
Just wait till I finish this glass.
We should tell Yahoo
That they should get through
And stick that glitch up their ass!
© 2000 Ludwig van Catt
The YaGropes Thing
(Parody Of Chuck Berry's "My Ding-A-Ling")
Yahoo thought that they were coy
Treating us founders like a cute little toy
Pissed us off, and that's the thing
The thing we call the "YaGropes Ring".
If this YaGropes thing's
The thing we should sing,
They must be playing with their ding-a-lings.
(repeat chorus)
Those people there are stubborn mules
Here they broke one golden rule
Delete button must be moved:
Intelligence has never been proved:
Hit reply and then delete
That thing reeks worse than our defeat
That mouse moved at times so wrong
That is why I'm here writing this song.
I hit forward the other day
Unsubscribe author I just may
If I forward this email thing
That virus called the "YaGropes Ring".
Now this old song, it ain't so bad
But Yahell has gotten me oh so mad.
This new format sucks so much
Hoover's suing them for "patent touch"
Yeah...THEIR ding-a lings
THEIR ding-a lings
We caught them playing with their ding-a lings
They screwed us well
They can go to hell
And take that YaGropes format and yell:
The YaGropes Ring
Caused us to sing:
Take back that virus called the YaGropes Ring.
© 2001 Ludwig van Catt
To Alan Jackson's www.memory

I know you're pissed. I see the signs
You're gonna walk out in this field of mines
Get around that glitch
And always bitch
Pulling your hair out
You're gonna shout
On some rainy day: "I HATE YAHOO!!!"
I feel like sayin "You know I do too".

We're in www.yahell
We'll be screamin' with a well-placed yell
If you feel the need to find that smell
It's at www.yahell

You won't even have to IM me
Or glance into my eyes
I know you are my beauty
With every day's sunrise...
While you're at work I do miss your
Presence truly
When I get that boot du jour
That takes me from you...


I love you, I'll shout
And I want out
Of this www.yahell
© 2001 Ludwig van Catt
Sweet Torture
(Sung to "My Heart Will Go On")
Every night in my dreams
I feel sick, I hear it,
That is what they called a damn hit?
Getting trapped in high beams
I go between them
Rather than listen on a whim...
Near, far
Wherever we are
I believe that Yahoo deserved this
Once more
Speakers near their door...
My tortures reserved this
Yet my stomach churns on and on...
This song taught us one thing
The more irritating
The better torture it will bring...
Blare it loud for Yahoo
Until the glitch stops you
From playing our revenge so true...
Windows fall from sill
Shattered from the volumes we play
Once more
They'll see what's in store
When they hear an encore:
This song tearing eardrums away
There are some songs that just won't go away...
I'm here
You're running with fear
As you know that I'm playing that song
You'll stay:
Blaring Yahoo's way;
Wearing earmuffs today
As that song plays on and on...
© 2001 Ludwig van Catt
Kiss This, Yahoo!!!
To Aaron Tippin's "Kiss This"
We are founders with a vision
Frustrated and with derision
With every single glitch set up by these clowns...
We were all here with big old frowns
When a miracle occurred here
Days glitch-free near
Came upon us to fear:
Oh, what was happening right now...
We're gonna have a cow...
That Yahoo Groups sucking even more
Our patience every day
We' will know what comes up in store...
So I think we must now say
"Never should have got out of bed..."
Here's what we said:
Yahoo, you kiss
Kiss this
And I don't mean on our rosy red lips
But don't you think they're dips
That suck worse than a Hoover vacuum cleaner
We know Yahoo's gotten a whole lot meaner...
Puckered up with one big sigh
And kissed this goodbye...
Well the next thing I recall
We had them backed against a wall
Thinkin' they had no other place to run
We were swearing right in their face
Telling them they're a big disgrace
Giving them a list of things to be done...
It was right about now
That Yahoo threw in the towel
Then came to watch us suffer in delight
With something much worse than our dreams at night...
The battles were fought and won
But the victory's sapping out all of the fun
We said:
CHORUS (repeat twice)
Yo!!!  Kiss this goodbye!!!
© 2001 Ludwig van Catt
Yahoo version of Shaving Cream
(Parody of Benny Bell’s “Shaving Cream”)
We have hit another Yahoo glitch
That's causing us founders a fit
Yet look at the first person to bitch
Who tells them that they're full of...

Shaving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.
If ever do they fix up this glitch
Fall right away, I will faint, I’ll admit
It's true, a quarter each time I'd be rich
That I’d tell them that they’re full of…
The Groups are the biggest eyesores
On the internet I’ll admit
And from here we can’t stand the odors
‘Cause it smells like a big pile of…
I hope that my story had ended
Hope it hurts their feelings a bit
And if Yahoo starts feeling offended
Stick their heads in a barrel of…
© 2001 Ludwig van Catt
All songs copyrighted by this author here
May wish for a bunch of Yahoos to disappear
If you decided to tamper with my copyright
May you begin to lose your eyesight...
© 2003 Ludwig van Catt